A Letter from the Producer

Dear Cast and Crew,

I became a fan of the ultimate reality show a few thousand years ago when I created it. Looking back, my original script was flawed. After a couple re-writes and finding the best mix of characters, I made a deal with my favorite players and signed our first contract. Oh, the early days; those were exciting times.

After the first week of burning through my creative energies, I kicked back and let the show unfold. Along the way, I learned more about myself from those I created than those I created learned about me. They claimed they wanted to know me, but really, they just wanted more from me. It’s a bit parasitic, to be perfectly honest. I was unprepared for all the attention that went along with producing a hit reality show. All the sudden, at least the transition to fame seemed sudden as I tend to live in the moment, I was internationally famous. That original cast became addicted to me for giving them their fifteen minutes of fame. It wasn’t just me though, they became addicted to all sorts of things. Once the addiction sets in, the cast really falls apart.

I have watched every episode from that first week until now, and I know how the story will end. The beginning and end is easy though. The struggle is getting through the whole series. I watched the cast repeat the same episodes for generations, almost verbatim occasionally, so the show gets quite boring at times. Sure, the characters are different, at least they have different names and they look slightly different, and they dress slightly different, and they toil through slightly different situations, but the arc doesn’t change. Same plot, same conflicts, same climax, and, as I mentioned, I know the resolution. I guess what I’m saying, I created the ultimate reality show, but I’m ready for a new story. To be blunt, I’m bored to death up here. If it were possible to die of boredom, this show would have killed me long ago.

I think what keeps me going is the other wonders of my work. I didn’t put much thought into all that during my creation week. I was in such a hurry to make a universal splash that I wasn’t paying attention elsewhere. Now I spend my time looking over the set and the background and some of the nuances of world development that doesn’t require interacting with the cast and crew. I am isolated and alone, but that’s probably for the best. I still get requests from people every day about so and so wants this, or somebody needs that. The requests are endless. In the interest of maintaining my sanity, I’m moving on.

I don’t want to waste my career endlessly catering to the beneficiaries of that first reality show. That one tiny show that launched me into the spotlight is quite literally a speck of dust in the vast sea of possible ideas. I’m sorry, but you guys are on your own. I will do some traveling, I have some new ideas I am kicking around, and it’s time for me to focus on my next project. I will let you keep your show going so long as you manage it yourselves. This endless handholding and constant intervention must stop. I wish you the best, but I have my doubts…


The Producer


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